Fate depends on your Face

「明明是考國文，竟然敢給我寫英文？妳不要命了嗎？」
「一開頭就給我扯到什麼命相學，什麼典故不會，
　就只知道『龍生龍，鳳生鳳，老鼠的兒子會打洞』？教都白教了！」


這是當我在段考完那天晚上晒衣服時，
邊晒邊演給我姊看的「情境模擬」劇。
只為恥笑自己寫了篇荒唐的作文，口口口決定命運

相信不少人看到題目當場傻眼，就如同我一樣，呆愣了半晌
結果我寫了，「一張臉，決定命運」
收尾還硬是坳了句－－

「所以有人說:"Fate depends on your face." 不是沒有道理的」
事實上，不是有人說，是我自己掰的（扣分）


沒想到－－She baught it.　（她買帳了）

「結尾用了句諺語，首尾呼應得很好」

在台下我忍不住想偷笑，實在承受不起令人心虛的讚美，還有那不實至名歸的分數
我想，拿回考卷的當下我呆愣的時間跟寫的時候是相同的。


不過，真正讓人跌破眼鏡大聲叫好的是我們班的正妹，
雖然她寫的文章在她本人堅持下僥倖脫逃，

但她下的題目真的是不令人想看都難－－
「妳實在很大膽耶，怡澤，『沒有什麼』可以決定命運？」
她實在有夠可愛XD（可愛到該抓去槍斃XDD! just kidding.）



－

昨日一段考完，去動物園，盡情享受被雨淋的快感
很多人一到就趕緊跑去夜行館，實在是太....聰明了
但終究是被淋了整身濕

感覺好像不是我們人看動物，是動物在看人
隱約會聽到，「媽！那是什麼？」
「那就叫落湯雞，寶貝」
好吧中山女高的孩子為木柵動物園添了個新品種－－俗名落湯雞


我一到首先就衝去看長鬃山羊，美麗的生物:)
俗名是台灣羚羊，看來還跟我有點兒親戚關係XD

當時只看到兩隻，一隻小的
雖然在雨中，我視力不好又看不清楚，但我很高興能再度見到牠們

然後我在一旁的台灣獼猴區獨自撐著傘待了一會兒


噢那些獼猴真是可愛，
雖然以往常聽爸爸形容在山上生活時時遭受牠們騷擾
但我想牠們淘氣的形象還是很討人喜愛的，哈哈


有一隻小獼猴，從獨木橋的一端一蹦一跳跳過去
中間正好擋著一隻較年邁的，在打瞌睡
所以小獼猴就索性把牠當跳板，從牠頭頂跳過去，實在很沒禮貌
結果老獼猴也只是醒過來，轉頭看看，又回頭睡了XDD

總覺得牠們是最具互動性的生物


後來也沒啥機會看太多東西，雨實在下得太大了
姑且學同學到夜行館避雨
燈光好，氣氛佳，這裡似乎是睡覺的好地方
但是一遇到我們班的那群

噢慧班的小朋友們，可不可以別吵了？丟臉丟斃了XD"


唉唉就這樣啦，事實上如果有機會的話，
下次等天氣好了我好想找趙明杰（受我們訪問的動物園動物組組長）
無奈這次沒帶任何伴手禮.....

「那就買動物園內的紀念品當伴手禮好了，這樣會不會被揍XD？」
我才正想說咧=　=　智障黃乙喬


－


唉唉，該怎樣說才好呢？

我根本一點都不懂妳
也許我是已經花了好幾個星期，甚至是好幾個月
只為嘗試去"了解"妳一點罷了

這也就是為什麼，那時我會做那樣的選擇吧

Sometimes I just want to be in your shoes, maybe it hurts,
but I just want to know what pain you've been suffering for.

And, within that thought, I could find myself no longer painful.


這對妳而言也許很不公平，
因為我不曾讓妳真正了解我

當我想開口的時候 ，面前除了同一團的氣體分子，什麼也沒有
如果可以，我說的是如果
如果有人願意佇足諦聽，　我會很開心地　說




Matchbox Twenty - Push (Live)

A Thousand Miles Away

As someone says,
"You love your parents, but oftentimes you do not like them."
On the contrary, I loathe someone but I do not hate that person anyway. 　我恨你，但是我並不討厭你

After undergoing some complex matters which are still left unsolved, I often feel ill at ease while talking to another, trying hard to come up with any jokes so that I could get myself involved into a conversation.

However, it often turned out to be in an opposite way.
I retreat to my place, going on with those sound bites, while I have a hollow smile on my face which makes me filled with disgust at myself.
Many times I wanted to escape from that situation, find another shelter, or just let out a cry. But I can't.

So I ran. I ran a thousand miles.
Actually, I havn't run that far--only twenty circles on the playground, just to get rid of thinking myself so ugly. I don't wanna think anymore.

I'm not a pessimistic person. That is how I convince myself. The reason that I cannot bring out the real "Stephanie" is that as I let out a part of my innermost emotions to someone else, I often find myself being hurt. What's more contradictive, that caused not by others, but by the thought of putting the blame on me.

It will never end, you know.

Her existence makes you lose yourself.
Every time you saw that guy, you may think that it is hard to tell apart the differences between us, for you have found her so similar to you. But no one knows, just because you hide yourself.

It is a waste of time to think of those trivial matters, and even more, you waste your time when you feel you're alone. I didn't refuse to loneliness for a period of time, for that is the way how people gain insights into themselves.

But now, even loneliness has left me, followed by another friend.
His name is sorrow.


We are close enough, just a reach to touch.
But it feels like our hearts are a thousand miles away.

~S~



Vanessa Carlton - A Thousand Miles

Let me disappear for a moment.